Tears She Never Saw......

I was and is still a dad's girl!! I was once a 8 or 10 yr old girl who hang around with her dad because I got everything i wished from her dad still with a fear deep inside my heart that will he ever get angry at some time.I was quite the same till about 16 or 17. Nd my dad.....He seemed to be a very practical person for whom I thought emotion came last in the list .A perfect family man.Actually he was some kind of idol for me as a human....he gave his best to watever he did and was a very calm person...He always told me not to be worried or tensed at a moment of crisis as it would never worsen watever i did and i was an exceptionally tensed person.......And above all i had a firm belief that he would always choose the best thing for me nytym and thus i always went to him when i had to make a descision. Thus from most simple things to the important descion of my career, i depended on him. Now maybe i fint mention my mom and sis and grandparents who also were an integral part of my life. But i had always felt sumthing special to my dad....so unreasonable respecct. but this never meant i alwasy did watever my parents wished.......I had always loved to do things they said dont and used to try out them whenevr i got a chance...But luckily i never crossed my limits at the end. So but then as i began to think deeper into my relations with my family,i began to realise that though i loved my dad and my family a lot and i had spent all my life with them,i hardly kne any thing about them.And more imporatntly my dad understood me so very well that he even read my silence.....I felt proud of myself but at the same time ashamed that i never knew of him.Being quite an emotional person unlike my dad,i've alays wondered that i have never seen my dad or mom cry.I wonderd how they could think above all these emotions.....I always believed that nyone culd share a happy moment with ny stranger but to confidde ur fears and worries,u need to be special.So i wished to share my parents worries that i believed will make me close to their heart like they are to mine.....though i was already a part of them. So i bought in topics like that into discussion purposefully...specially about their childhood and college days. It was an attempt to get to kno more about their childhood nd teenage which i was curious to kno about tooo.... And on a casual talk about all these to my dad once,he said that he also once usedto be liek me... worried and tensed over things at times and then the talk carried on to abt my grandma who was exceptionally tensed person.And i also knew that he was very close to her. Even i was though i hadnt spent lot of time with her..... Nd so i used to bring her topic frequently in my talks to know her more....But that day i saw that my dad's eyes were filled unusually with tears when she spoke of her....a tear that i never noticed earlier.....Wasnt this wat i wanted to see......But that tear flowed directly to my heart...I cant forget his face at that time..... How unlucky i'm to be the reason of the tears of sumone i love and sumone who loves me more than his own life..... But on an other thought i think aint i lucky enuf that sum1 i idolise,i respect and maybe even consider equivalent to God actually expressed his heart out...i culd be a reason for him to lighten his heart by shedding a lot of pain that he has kept locked sumwhere in his heart..... I dont kno....But then that moment will never fade from my heart..... and those unshed tears tht filled his eyes and tht i never recognised.....